So what do all those numbers mean, well I'll tell you. But first, let me start by giving a summary of my adventure so far for any new readers and for a new blog I've been asked to participate in.
All my adult life I always said if I'm still single by the time I'm 40 I would try to have a child on my own and if I couldn't then I would adopt. I told myself I would be okay if I couldn't have my own biological child and I'm still ok with that, but how far I'm willing to go to give birth to my own child has changed drastically. I always said that if it didn't happen naturally (well as naturally as possible for a single woman) than I would move right to adoption. No meds, no stims and no IVF. Or so I thought.
10 artificial inseminations (IUI), 2 miscarriages, and heartbreaks, here I am waiting to see if I'm pregnant from my first IVF attempt. Yes I did it. I truly believed I had no choice. Last summary I saw a heart beating in my belly. It was small and barely there, but it was there. And I saw it more than once. And then it was gone. It was the most horrible thing I have ever lived through. It was devastating in ways I never knew possible. I'd been in such an amazing place in my life both personally and mentally and workwise and just everything. I was happy all the time. I mean I had a few dips in mood, but nothing I didn't get passed in a few hours. I was good, really good, for a long time and then IT happened, and my world came crashing down. It was my second miscarriage in 4 months, and my only way of survival was knowing I could try again as soon as possible. I turned 40 six weeks after, and I'm good with 40, except for not being a mom. Big except. Big I made it through that week and the surprise party my family threw me by having another IUI the morning of my party.
Everything seemed okay again.
#1 - I got pregnant, twice. That's one of the biggest hurdles for women suffering from infertility issues. I mean at this point I didn't consider the idea that I had issues.
#2 - I have tons of eggs. I mean I'm 40 and my reserves should be on the downswing, but as my doctor tells me and the ultrasounds show each month, my ovaries are pumping out 15 to 25 potential follicles a month. At 40 my doctor hopes to see 10 a month.
#3 - I ovulate on my own every month. Another huge thing, since many women do not.
#4 - I was doing everything right. No more coffee, no more drinking. Eating healthy. Acupuncture every week. I was golden!
And then 5 more attempts went by and not a single BFP (big fat positive) I thought I'd get pregnant everytime and just have to be worried about it being the right one and getting to 9 months and holding my baby in my arms. But I was wrong. It didn't happen, so we moved on to IVF.
So here I am 14 months after I started down this road and ready to explain those numbers.
I spent around 20 days giving myself anywhere from 1 to 3 injections a day. And it paid off. My doctor said the very first time he gave me an ultrasound that my ovaries were much younger than I am and man did they prove themselves last week.
Last wednesday I went in for whats called Egg Retrieval. That's when the doctor goes in and takes out all the eggs that I've hopefully stimulated into all growing at once rather than the single one we naturally ovulate each month. And we retrieved 23! 23, what a crazy crazy amount for a 40 year old. Well for an any year old for that matter. And I recovered pretty well from all of those eggs. I mean I was uncomfortable for a few days, I mean my ovaries were pretty swollen, but by Sunday I felt great.
17!!!! that's how many of the 23 were mature eggs. Another incredible number.
14!!!! That's how many of the mature eggs fertilized after being mixed with sperm.
12!!!! That's how many embryos were still growing 5 days after retrieval! My doctor had the biggest smile on his face when he told me. And they were all amazing quality.
We transfered the two best looking ones and now I'm trying not read every ache and twinge my body is giving me, since I have 9 days before I have a blood test to see if either one worked. And then I the next 7 to 9 weeks to wait for all the testing to get done and my first trimester to end before I can take a deep breath. The big week being the 4 weeks or so from now when I hopefully see a heartbeat that is older than the one I saw last summer. :)
10!!!!! The number of embryos I got to freeze, so if this round isn't the right one, and my baby isn't quite ready to join me yet, I have 10 possibilities waiting for me :)
There's plenty more i'd like to write about, and I hope you join me as I continue to share my journey, but right now I need to go by a lottery ticket don't I!!!!!!
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