WHEN!!!!

Okay.  So I took a break.  Not a long one, but just long enough.  I didn't care if I took my prenatal, I didn't care if I drank my fresh juice in the morning.  I didn't care if I did my visualizations or took my dose of Royal Jelly or Verdant Vitex.  Nothing.  And it felt good.  And now I'm back.  And coming back was so easy.  The day I knew my cycle was starting that was it. It was like a switch went on.  I just started up and didn't mind.  So here we go...AGAIN!

CD5, and 5th day on estrogen patches.  My numbers on day 3 weren't high enough so I've got 4 1 inch stickers on my belly trying to build up my lining.  The stickers are estrogen patches :)  Then a week from Monday I go in for an ultrasound and another blood test to check my lining and my levels, and then 6 days later we transfer.  3 embryos this time.  I know scary but given my track record I just feel like 2 is not enough.  So 3 it is.  Lets be honest I'm not looking for triplets, but I think I've said this before, Twins are ok by me.  I want my children to have siblings, so twins makes that really easy.  Although anything with twins is not easy, I know that too.

So, its onward and upward!

Oh and the biggest update is that I stopped using the word "IF".  I would always say if/when I get pregnant, if/when I move in with my sister.  Now its only WHEN!!!!!

Now!

Waiting...again...I know that's what this is all about.  The inability to control the elements involved with trying to become a mom.  Whether its going about the good ole natural way, and waiting for things to happen at the right time with the right egg and the right swimmer, or seeking medical assistant through IUI, IVF or FET.  Or even going the adoption route.  Nothing is in our control.  For those that get pregnant quick and easy, there is nothing to learn as far as patience in this world of fertility and motherhood, but for the rest of us... As a TYPE A personality, this is very difficult to accept.  One would think that after a year of this I'd be used to it, accepting of it.  HA!   I am learning it just seems to take time.  I've got help.  My acupuncturist, my RE, my therapist, and now I have someone new in my corner.

During NIAW, National Infertility Awareness Week, I became aware of a woman who helps women find direction and support during this process.  She has already helped me out by recording a visualization for me.  She's trying to help me see the future and get past my mental obstacles and fears.  She has a program that is going to start sometime in the next few weeks that will offer me and other women weekly support in our quest.  I'm so looking forward to it.  Once it begins I'll try to write updates about it.


Its amazing how much better I feel once I take the time to add an entry to this blog.    Thanks for reading.


-Debra